


Here, hold my heart

by outlawofideal



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Co-workers, Fluff, Jae blushes like crazy, M/M, and half of kpops foreign idols, his famous ear blush, side pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 09:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20721746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawofideal/pseuds/outlawofideal
Summary: When Jaehyun got a job right out of College, he didn't expect it to be on the other side of the world. He knew it would turn his world upside down yet he wasn't ready for it to bring so many wonderful people in his life, least of all Johnny who transformed his life the minute he walked in.





	Here, hold my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Johnny in suits. Beware of Johnny in suits.

Jung Jaehyun never thought he would be standing here, being accompanied by a flamboyant secretary to his new boss' office, in  _ California _ . The secretary carries a bunch of files, resting them to his hips as he leads the way. 

The secretary’s sleek black hair and the tons of different accessories added to his outfit have managed to surprise Jaehyun. He looks like one of those idols he had seen on TV or a modal doing a shoot, not someone on the clock. But maybe it's an American thing, being loose on rules, he supposes.

They reach the glass walled room they call an office but to him it looks more like a glorified cubicle, nothing like the giant ones with lounges he has seen during his short intern life back at home. There sits a young man, who doesn’t look older than thirty, behind the table, working on a desktop computer.

The secretary knocks on the door and opens it for Jaehyun. He steps in after him, placing down the files he brought in. "Mr. Tuan. I brought our newbie in. I will be back for the files in an hour. So make sure to go through and sign them."

"Thank you, Ten. I’ll get them done." The secretary, named Ten, turns around and leaves them alone. Which confuses him. Is he named after the number? What kind of name is that? He hasn't even heard of nicknames such as his.

His new boss clears his throat, bringing him back from his confused inner-thoughts. Jaehyun looks at him, waiting for any commands with his hand twitching behind his body.

"So, you must be Jaehyun Jung, our new team-member. Welcome to HANN Magazine, I am sure you will get along with all the others fairly well. For the formalities like reports, you will be answering to me but you can ask your coworkers for help with anything. They will help you settle in and will guide you through the process." He gets up, and grabs a key and a paper. "Come on, I will show you your place and then you can settle in gradually. Follow me." 

He doesn't let Jaehyun speak and for that he is very grateful. Even though he can understand him very well he is not sure he can keep a conversation easily going. He hasn’t been forced to speak English on the daily since he was nine and now he has to work in this language. He is worried to death.

His boss, Mr. Tuan takes the long corridor until they reach an open space, that contains many cubicles with people already working. He cleans his throat once again to gain attention. Every single person turns towards them, he feels like they are staring him down to the very last stitch. A couple of heads pop up behind the walls of the cubicles at the back, looking pretty funny, like a bunch of meerkats in the wild.

"Guys, this is Jaehyun Jung. He will be working with us for our website graphics. I am sure you will help him." He says as he looks over his shoulder to Jaehyun. "There, that empty table is yours. This document has all the information you need to access our system and the keys are for the drawers on your desk."

He gingerly takes them. "Thank you, Mr. Tuan." He bows a little, his boss gives him a light pat of encouragement on his shoulder before he takes off. Which leaves Jaehyun with a curious audience. He gulps and tries to face with them.

"Please take care of me. Hope we all get along." He says and then full on bows. 

The seconds that follows his actions, fill him with embarrassment. Because he is not in Korea anymore, even though most of his coworkers seem like Asians, they are in Los Angeles. He is inside a building that creates magazines in English. His cheeks and neck burns with embarrassment. He quickly stands back and closes his eyes. He hears someone giggle, trying to contain it to be kind.

"Hey guys! We have found an untouched one. He hasn’t been Americanized!" Someone calls out. Jaehyun peeks around, too ashamed to face it fully. A man with a head of almost white hair, fully blow-dried and styled, approaches him. He carries a giant smile on his face as he extends a hand.

"Hey man, don't worry about it. I'm Bambam by the way." Jaehyun shakes his hand. As he stares openly at the tall and thin man in front of him, someone else pops next to him.

"Hello, I'm Jackson." He is much shorter than Bambam but he has this deep voice that asks for you to pay attention. He is just as impressive yet he is in much simpler clothing than the people he has seen so far. Opting for a sweater and chinos instead all the fancy jackets and shirts his other coworkers seem to wear.

Jaehyun himself is in his only set of suit, very much black and plain, paired with a crisp white shirt. The same thing he has worn to all the job interviews he has ever been to. "Hello?" Jaehyun says but his voice comes out week.

"Bam, don't scare the boy with your loud self." Jackson pushes the tall man aside. "Come on, Jaehyun. Jaehyun, right? I'll take you to your desk."

Jackson sends a big smile before he starts walking towards the back of the room. He stops at a trio of desks. There's another guy sitting on one of them, he seems to be buried in work. He only raises his head once Jackson calls his name.

"Yuta," Jackson leans on the man's desk, leaving Jaehyun standing awkwardly. "This is our new friend, Jaehyun. He will be filling the third desk on our desk setup."

"Hey," Yuta raises a hand to greet than goes back to his work. Jackson rolls his eyes at the man's cold attitude.

"He doesn't talk much when he is working." He shows the empty desk across the one Jaehyun assumes belongs to Jackson as he moves to sit down in front of. "That is your work space. You are free to bring in anything or decorate. We can put a request for any supplies you may need."

"Thank you." He goes to the empty desk. He sits down, getting a first look on the document he was given. He reads it over and over again yet doesn't quite understand. He is too anxious about it to process the contents properly. Honestly, this whole thing is going to be an ordeal. He has no idea how he is going to work it out. But he has to. He is already half a world away from his home. He can't go back without at least trying.

\---

After a few days, Jaehyun thinks he has learned most of his coworker’s names. Yuta that sits next to him is Japanese, has been with the magazine for several years, writing filler columns and editing for the other writers. He is calm and quiet when he is focused on what he is writing. When he is not working he is laughing, cracking jokes. He seems to be a light hearted person.

Jackson on the other hand can’t stay in one spot for more than twenty minutes. He changes positions, jokes with the others or just speaks to the void when everyone is too occupied with their work. Usually he has Bambam and Lisa from the fashion corner joining his conversations, as they run around with a bunch of samples in their arms and go to the other side of the building, to join their giant scaled section with more people working then the writers’ office. They speak in a language Jaehyun can’t even get the grasp of before they disappear.

It’s a good thing the office let’s their workers use other languages to express themselves and doesn’t force it to be seclusive. With the heavy Asian mix of the employees it makes sense. Unfortunately for Jaehyun, he hasn’t seen any other Korean so far. It seems there are people from all around the world and he seems to be the only one that speaks the language.

He sighs as Sicheng, their arts and culture writer, approaches Yuta and pokes the Japanese man on the shoulder to seek attention. Sicheng is just as calm as Yuta but when the duo comes together, they seem to open up to each other. And even now, Sicheng leans in and whispers something that Jaehyun is not allowed to be a part of.

Jaehyun has been a silent observer for the couple of days he has been here. He checked over the website a couple of times but there hasn't been much work yet. He watched people and what they were doing. During lunch time he didn't dare to go out and explore, instead he settled in the company staff room and had instant ramen. He had met others during lunch breaks, such as the company intern Lucas, who is overly loud, even more so than Jackson and is adorable when he doesn’t leave the sports writer’s tail. He has seen a couple of girls from the depths of the fashion corner, with their cameras and moodboards. In all honesty, what they do is very much similar to what Jaehyun is supposed to do yet his boss instructed him to stay with the authors. Apparently they need much more help with the uploads once it’s publishing time.

So he waits, empty handed at his table. It is almost lunch time so he supposes Sicheng will take Yuta for lunch. Which turns out to be spot on when the said man gets up and gathers his beat up messenger bag. Then he stops and turns around swiftly, his eyes finding Jaehyun’s.

“Hey Jae, why don’t you join us for lunch? You can check out the area around the office building this way.”

Sicheng peaks behind Yuta, smiling softly.”It will be fun.” he says softly.

Jaehyun doesn't really have another plan besides trying the last kind of instant ramen he hasn't had in the staff room. He accepts the offer, taking his jacket and wallet. They walk out of the office, greeted with the heatwave outside despite it being September. If he was still in Seoul he would be clinging onto his jacket yet he is idly holding his jacket away from his body despite taking it with himself.

"You will get used to L.A weather soon." Sicheng speaks up. Yuta is leading the way having a heated conversation on his phone. "It's always warm, I don't think you will need that jacket until the end of October."

"Yeah, I am just- not used to it?"

The man smiles softly, patting his arm. "You are doing great. Don't worry about your language."

"I'm just conscious of it. I haven't spoken English daily ever since I was, like, ten."

"We don't mind, most of us are from different parts of the world. Like almost no one in the office has English as their mother tongue anyway." He shrugs as if it is not a big deal. Yet Jaehyun has been struggling like crazy, over thinking every word that leaves his mouth. He pouts involuntarily.

"Hey, by the way, how old are you Sicheng?" He asks to keep the conversation going. Even though he is out of his comfort zone this is like an instinctive first question.

"Oh, born in 97. And you?" The Chinese man looks back at him smiling.

"So we are friends!" He exclaims in excitement. Sicheng raises an eyebrow curiously. "Cause we are the same age!"

"Ah! Yeah you guys have this age thing!" He laughs as it dawns on him. "Yeah, let's be friends Jaehyun."

After a ten minute walk down the busy street they arrive to nice very hipster looking restaurant. It is heavily decorated with grays and concrete. As it is lunch break for many companies, the place seems filled to the brim. Yuta walks towards the only empty table out in the front. Jaehyun looks for any signs that it might be occupied but Yuta is very confident in himself. He drops his bag in one of the chairs, and continues pacing around the restaurant.

"Look, if you are not here in fifteen. I am going to kick your ass and you will have to suffer through your own editing." Jaehyun hears him yell at the person on the other side of his call. Sicheng settles himself into a seat, pulling another chair for Jaehyun.

"Let's just decide on food. If we don’t order now it is gonna take forever."

"And Yuta?"

"Eh, I'll get something for him." Sicheng shrugs, looking at the menu in front of him. Jaehyun takes the one before him. He decides to get the cheeseburger as he has no idea about half the fancy words written on the menu. Thankfully Sicheng orders for them.

"Why is Yuta acting this heated?"

"Ah, it's just him on the phone with another writer, Johnny. They are close friends, it's just Johnny makes a lot of mistakes when writing and it drives Yuta insane." He giggles. "I think Johnny does it intentionally because his English is pretty amazing. All fancy and structured."

"Oh, I see. So he works with us, yeah?"

"Yes, it's just that he usually is out in the field rather than the office. You'll see." Sicheng says as his eyes track Yuta approaching the table. The Japanese man drops himself onto a chair very ungracefully and takes the cold glass of water only to down it in seconds.

"This man, he is driving me crazy." He whines, then he looks at Jaehyun with pity in his face. "Sorry, man. I have been rude."

"Don't worry. I don't mind it." Jaehyun smiles, trying to convey that he really is okay. He doesn't care about these things usually anyway, it's just that he is trying to make friends. He wants to learn more about them.

Yuta leans in looking at the menu but Sicheng covers it with his hand.

"You are gonna eat whatever I am having." He says sternly. Yuta pouts, obviously trying to win over the man. "Should have thought about it before coming here. You could have pre-ordered." Yuta huffs and rolls his eyes before leaning back in his chair.

"Fine. You are just being rude."

Jaehyun stares at their openness outside of the office. To be fair he has been there for only four days but he has never seen either of them this talkative during the clock. "Hey guys," He interrupts their bickering. "Sorry but you guys seem much more open here. Can I ask why?"

Sicheng stares at Yuta then turns towards Jaehyun with a generous smile. "This one over here doesn't like speaking about his private life. Which usually is why he likes to focus on work."

"And you?"

He giggles, baring his teeth. " _ I am _ his private life." Jaehyun chokes on air, his eyes growing at least twice their original size.

"Sicheng!" Yuta raises his voice. "You can't just blurt that out!"

"Why not? It's always funny to see the reaction."

"Look at him. Poor thing!" Yuta yelps, giving out his cup of water to Jaehyun. "Are you okay?"

"Oh-yeah. I'm-" He coughs to clean his throat. "I'm good. Don't worry." He looks between the two guys. Sicheng seems relaxed and not worried at all, sipping on his lemonade casually. On the other side Yuta’s face seems red to the brim, still shocked by Sicheng’s boldness. Then Jaehyun spots the clear beaded bracelets hanging on both of their wrists. Then it dawns on him what Sicheng really meant. "So you guys are-" He starts but can't finish the sentence not knowing how to label it.

Yuta raises an eyebrow, staring down at Sicheng. Apparently,his face speaks volumes to Sicheng as said man shies away from looking at him. There is a silent banter between the two resulting in Sicheng finally speaking, offering an explanation.

"We have been together for a while now. It's just that Yuta doesn't like people nosing in his personal business." Sicheng says, ignoring Yutas burning glare. "But you said we should be friends, Jaehyun. Friends should be allowed, shouldn't they?" He smiles, petting Jaehyun’s hand. "So tell me. Do you have anyone?" 

"Not really. Had a girlfriend back home. But it didn't seem to work out after college." He confesses, still hurt by the messy break up.

"Oh, I didn't mean to press on your wound." Sicheng looks at him apologetically.

"Don't worry. It's a part of my past." He shrugs his shoulder. Their orders come soon after, breaking the awkward silence that Jaehyun had created. He stares at the fourth bowl of food across him. Some type of avocado salad it seems, waiting for its owner. It must be for Johnny.

When they are almost finished with their food, Yuta seems to start grumbling. He constantly checks his watch but no-one shows up. Sicheng asks for the salad to be packed to go.

Jaehyun reaches for his wallet but Sicheng stops him by putting a hand on Jaehyun’s hand. "On us." He simply states with an assuring smile on his face. Jaehyun gives up on paying but he says, "Then I'll take you guys out on a dinner."

"Sure, let's do that." Sicheng says his voice bright and joyful. 

"I would love to. But let's make it after your first paycheck." Yuta adds.

Jaehyun feels thankful at how understanding these people are.

He nods.

As they get out of their chairs a running figure appears in the entrance. He runs towards them, barely stopping before the table.

"I’m sorry. I was late." He states, breathing hard and rapidly. After he gets a breather he fixes his posture. And he is tall, very tall. Jaehyun think he is well above average but this guy has at least five or six centimeters on him. He looks even taller next to Yuta's skinny frame.

"You were late half an hour ago, Johnny." Yuta huffs, grabbing his bag. He turns around and starts walking away.

Johnny follows him, whining what seems to be an apology. He is wearing this light grey pinstripe suit that hugs his body. Literally. Jaehyun can't stop himself from staring at Johnny's backside until Sicheng pokes him, signaling to walk.

They walk back the office. Just as their first trip, Sicheng and Jaehyun follow Yuta from a couple of steps behind. This time there's Johnny's tall figure keeping up with Yuta's angry pace.

"Don’t worry. Johnny will figure out the way to Yuta's heart. He has a soft spot for that dork." Sicheng assures him even though it's not even remotely close to what is going on in Jaehyun’s mind.

As he watches the muscles on Johnny's back he wonders if it is normal to look this good in a suit. It is not something remotely close to the elaborate suits Bambam and Ten wear. There's no prints nor gold yet the man before looks so breathtaking. He struts easily with his long legs next to Yuta. Jaehyun sees brown specks placed on top of his perfect dark brown hair but it stays untouched as he seems to forget their existence while he is trying to make it up to Yuta. He seems to be apologizing over and over again.

He looks down on his sad black suit that is definitely not fit for the scorching weather. He probably looks like a kid wearing his father's suit in the eyes of Johnny. If said man got a good look at him that is.

He pouts and diverts his attention to his surroundings instead. He sees a couple of shops and more office complexes. And a small indie coffee shop in between those. Maybe he should go there on his next lunch break, getting something different from the sad filter coffee his office has.

\---

By next week Jaehyun is well settled into his apartment and work. He still wears the same suit, not sure of how to handle the dress code. But he is confident in his memory that he has learned his coworkers’ names by now. He has learned everyone in the writers room. Yuta and Sicheng accepted him in their little bubble, bringing him along to their lunch trips without any questions. He doesn't join them every day but when he is bored off eating ramen they come saving Jaehyun.

Today he has been summoned by Mr. Tuan the minute he has entered the building and it is approaching noon. He hadn't been able to have anything this morning and he can feel his stomach rumbling.

"I want you to fix up the personal pages on our website. There are going to be new profile photos coming soon and I wish to see them and the website in cohesion. You can have any changes as long as they fit the design guide. If you want to take it even further, come ask me or mail me directly."

"Yes, sir." He says, happy that he has finally a task to do.

"From what I have seen from your portfolio by now, I am quite excited to see the results, Jaehyun." Mark says as checks on the documents once more before turning them to Jaehyun. 

"I won't disappoint you, Mr. Tuan."

Mr.Tuan smiles at his enthusiasm. "I have faith in you, Jaehyun."

The moment he is dismissed, Jaehyun stumbles into the break room. Reaching for the an hour old brew of coffee, filling a spare mug. He adds some water over it to thin it as the coffee seems darker than his best friend Doyoung's soul back home. 

Though he can't say it helps with the taste. He has hardly gulped down the first sip, when his face starts changing into various shapes.

As he struggles to clean down the taste of coffee with something else from inside the small kitchen, Jackson appears besides him.

"My man, I haven't seen you at all today."

"I was having a meeting with Mr. Tuan." He says, forcing another sip down. Otherwise it will become impossible for him to stay awake in a few hours without having caffeine in his system. 

"I see. Did he mention that you really don't have to wear a full suit too?" Jackson teases as he brews a cup of tea for himself.

Well Jaehyun was aware of that fact but seeing most guys wearing some type of a suit in the building made him conscious about himself. He didn't have any fancy clothing with him aside from his suit and various shirts to go with it. "Guys wear them so I thought-"

"Yes but you work in-office Jaehyun. You don't have to wear this clearly uncomfortable suit everyday. As long as you are presentable you should be fine with even jeans."

He looks down, rubbing the back of his head. "I think it's because every man in Korea wears a suit to work and I just-" 

"I understand that." Jackson says assuring. "But I want you to be comfortable during work here. Just switch to jeans and a shirt for tomorrow."

"Okay, I will try." They both wait for Jackson's tea to finish brewing. Jaehyun runs a finger along the rim of his mug. Not really wanting to drink it but at the same time desperately needing caffeine.

His facial expression must have been miserable as he was staring at his coffee mug that Jackson butts in, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Is it that bad?"

"Huh-What?" 

"The coffee. Is it that bad?" 

"It is the single worst thing in this damn exciting break room. Over-roasted and it has been sitting here brewed all morning. It's just bitter and nothing else."

Jackson laughs at his long rant. "You know there's a coffee place down the road, right?" 

"Yeah, I've seen it."

"Just take your break early and go get a cup. So I don't have to watch you suffer whatever that is." He says, patting his shoulder before he takes his tea and leaves the break room. 

He learns that it is allowed to take breaks on your own terms. Apparently he won't be fired from work for leaving for ten minutes. He goes back to his desk to grab his wallet and leave his jacket. He asks Yuta if he wants anything but doesn't get an answer. He is used to it by know so he doesn't get offended by his cold exterior.

As he is walking towards the exit he feels hands landing on his shoulders. Then he feels the presence behind him before he sees him.

"Can you be a darling, Jaehyun?" Johnny says, almost as if he is whispering in his ear. Jaehyun feels blood rushing to his cheeks. The odd sensation is too foreign to him.

"What?" He blurts out. It is already shocking having him this close but seeing him inside the office is also unexpected. 

"I heard from the boys that you were going to the coffee shop. Can you get me one too?" Johnny says, the smile he is supporting currently is striking. He looks extra dashing with his all white cotton suit, enhancing the bronze color of his skin. As if he has just returned from a month long trip from Santorini.

Jaehyun blinks at him with empty eyes before realizing what he was asked. "Ah, yes. Of course. What do you want?"

"Just tell them it's for Johnny. They will handle it." Johnny squeezes his shoulder, smiling even brighter. "Thank you."

Jaehyun feels frozen in his place as he watches Johnny go back to his desk. His ears must be bright red at this point. His only hope is that no one has looked at them as they spoke. 

He leaves the office still shaken. It doesn't take long to reach the coffee place, a couple of minutes of walking. It's very well decorated just like every other Los Angeles place. Jaehyun stares at the blue fish scale tiles over the walls remembering Doyoung's whines about how hard it is to find someone who does them. 

There are only a couple of people in the cafe, as it is just before the noon rush hour. He only has to wait a few minutes before he reaches the cashier. The barista behind the counter smiles bright welcoming him. His name tag reads  _ Sun🌞.  _ He seems very young but he has this confidence of a person who knows what they are doing.

"What can I get you?" He asks brightly, hands already reaching a black carton cup.

"Uhm, a coffee for Johnny. He said you already know the order." He blurts out. The boy behind the counter stops and stares at him for a solid second before grabbing a large cold cup and writing down an order. 

"Anything else I can help?" 

"Ah, yes. I want an Americano but with a half pump of vanilla. If possible?" Then he doubts his order. It's not like every Cafe does custom orders. "If not you can just make it a regular."

Barista grabs a cup and writes down his order confidently. "Don't worry. We make any kind of coffee."

Jaehyun smiles and grabs his wallet. But the barista punches some numbers without looking at him. Then he takes out some cash from his own apron. As he places the bills into the register, he mumbles. " _ That Hyung, he now asks people for coffee. At least he should have paid. _ "

" _ Does he do this often? _ " Jaehyun asks back. The boy looks up immediately, meeting his eyes. His already big eyes definitely grow twice the size as he stares into Jaehyun's. 

Then it clicks in for Jaehyun. The boy has spoken in Korean so people wouldn't understand him and Jaehyun asked back in his mother language without even realizing, as it's second nature.

_ "Wait!" _ He exclaims.  _ "You are Korean?" _ Jaehyun asks, still conversing in the language. 

"Uhm, yeah." The boy mumbles, looking embarrassed about getting caught. He looks at the small queue behind Jaehyun worriedly. Jaehyun also looks back and steps aside once he sees the people.

"I'll wait there." He points the take out counter.

_ "I will be right there, uhm? Sorry what was your name?"  _

_ "Jaehyun. It's Jaehyun.” _

_ "I will bring your order, Jaehyun-ssi." _ He says simply, bowing his head slightly. When Jaehyun leaves him alone, he puts another smile and welcomes the next customer.

Jaehyun waits by the takeouts watching his order made. After a couple of minutes his orders sit on the back counter, the boy comes and starts packing them in a paper bag.

_ "What's your name?" _ Jaehyun attempts to start a conversation.  _ "It can't be just Sun." _

_ "Oh, that is a nickname Johnny Hyung gave Me. My name is Donghyuck." _ He puts the bag in front of him but goes to the food bar instead of leaving. "Did he ask for cookies?" He calls from there, apparently asking about Johnny.

"He hasn't told me anything." He states. " _ So Johnny is also Korean?" _ He asks but apparently it is a stupid question as Donghyuck stares at him with a frozen look.

_ "He hasn't told you and is making you do his coffee run? Oh, I should really teach that Hyung some manners." _ Donghyuck states as he places two smaller bags inside his order bag.  _ "Peanut and Raisin cookies. Fresh and hyung's favorite." _

_ "But I didn't pay for anything." _ Jaehyun objects as he takes his wallet out.

_ "Cookies are my treat. And coffee will be from Johnny Hyung as he forgot his basic manners." _ Donghyuck smiles warmly.  _ "I work here throughout the week. Please come visit us more, Jaehyun-ssi."  _

Jaehyun can see it is a genuine invite so he smiles back. It feels liberating to speak in his mother language with someone other than his mom for the past three weeks.

He also feels like he can learn much more from this young man. He has unknowingly lit a fire in Jaehyun's unfounded curiosity about Johnny. Now that he knows the man is also Korean, he wants to push his borders to learn more about him.

When he enters back to the office, he pulls his own orders out of the bag. He walks towards Johnny's desk, dropping the paper bag. 

_ "Here's the special order." _ He mumbles directing at him but tries to play it cool, fixing his suit jacket. No one in the office minds him. But Johnny's head whips in seconds staring at him with enlarged eyes. 

Jaehyun turns around, a soft smile grazing his face.  _ So he knows Korean too.  _ He walks down the room towards his cubicle. Jackson looks at him, confused. 

"What?" Jaehyun asks innocently. 

Jackson shakes his head, "Nothing." He says, returning to his work. 

\---

It's a Saturday afternoon and despite living in one of the liveliest cities in the world, Jaehyun is laying on his mattress fiddling with his computer. Even if it is the weekend he has been trying to work on the new profiles so he can finish them next week. It has been taking much longer than needed to work on Johnny's profile. Johnny Seo. Celebrity Specialist.  _ Born in 95 _ he realizes. His recent photo is even more handsome than before but it doesn't compare to the real thing. He fixes some alignment issues but finds himself staring at his photo mid-work. 

He tries to snap out of it. He goes to make coffee, fiddles with the fridge door in hopes of food appearing magically. After trying out everything in his tiny apartment he is left to hibernate on his bed. He is too shy to go out and explore the city. 

He doesn't even want to go out and walk alone. It's scary with the city's large roads. And everything is so far away from each other. He sighs and rolls over on his bed, grabbing his cellphone. 

There's no notifications on the lock screen. He unlocks and opens up an app. After a few minutes of scrolling through it, that also gets boring very quickly. He changes apps and dials up the number absent-mindedly. He puts it on speaker and rolls onto his back.

It rings and rings for a long time. He loses hope when, at the last minute, his friend picks up.

"Jaehyun? " He says, his voice croaked and distant. He must have been sleeping. Now Jaehyun feels bad about not checking the timelines.

"Hey, did I wake you up?"

"Yes, you smart-ass. It's past midnight." Doyoung strikes his usual sassy attitude on, followed by a yawn.

"Sorry, Doie. I was just-" He sighs. "There's nothing to do." He admits, reluctantly.

There's a short silence filled with shuffling coming from the other side of the call. When Doyoung finally speaks, his voice comes much clearer. 

"I thought you made friends, Jaehyun. What happened?"

"I did. But they speak English and I feel like I can't keep up. It's so tiring." He whines. He feels stupid about ranting as he expected this when he moved to the states even if the company was majority Asian run and employed.

"Didn't you say, all of your coworkers are Asian? Isn't there any Koreans there?" Doyoung suggests. 

"There's someone but I think he doesn't care about me. He almost never talks with me.” He pouts. “I’ve met these Koreans in a Cafe and they clearly said my coworker is too. But he seems off when I try to speak. Maybe he doesn't like me?" 

"Maybe he doesn't understand you, Jae. Have you thought of that?" 

"But he is definitely Korean. I looked up and his last name is Seo."

"Yeah, but is he a migrant? Maybe he was born there, in the US?"

"What?" God, Jaehyun never thought of that. That explains his name and also his attitude.

"You silly peanut. Do I have to do the thinking for you?" Doyoung mocks him. "Try approaching him with English. Your skills are more than enough to converse. And maybe he will try too."

"Ah, you are a lifesaver Doie. What would I be without you?"

"I don't know. A lonely peanut?" Doyoung suggest, clearly delighted by Jaehyuns confession.

"Yah!"

"Be grateful you brat. I'm your Hyung to begin with." He teases Jaehyun. "And this Hyung has an exam on a Sunday morning. So please let me die in my sleep."

Jaehyun feels bad for keeping him up at late night. "Sorry for keeping you."

"Don't feel bad. This is what friends are for."

"Good night Doie."

"Have a good day Jae." He hangs up, filling the room with silence once again. He misses him so much, going around to city and hanging out all day. It was all they did until Jaehyun decided to date which didn't go so well. But Doyoung stayed with him through out. And Jaehyun is grateful for his companionship.

He thinks he is ready to go out, after a month of trying to adjust. Maybe he should go out, try to find someone.

Someone his age, someone full of charisma and charms. The figure that appears in his mind is very familiar now. He has spent a good time staring at him and his glorious figure in suits. 

He is kinda horrified to think of Johnny when he imagines someone to be with.

He is a man after all. And Jaehyun has only dated women in his life but he can't seem to deny his attraction to the man. As if he has been put under a spell, his eyes only see Johnny when they are in the same space.

But he doesn't seem interested in Jaehyun. He hopes Doyoung is right and it is because he does not speak the language, not because he doesn't like Jaehyun. 

He wants to further learn about it and fortunately he knows a place he can snoop a little more.

For the first time in that month, Jaehyun feels motivated to go out. Even if there's no one to visit currently or any place in particular that's he wants to visit. There's one place that could be his start. He gets up and grabs his wallet.

\---

Jaehyun arrives at the Cafe late afternoon. He enters confidently, strutting to the cashier. The line isn't long even though it is the weekend, he wonders if it is because the place is located in a business neighborhood.

His confidence dies down quickly when he realizes the man tending the cashier isn't Donghyuck.

He seems as just friendly and is also gorgeous. He has light blonde hair, fluffy and almost covering his eyes. His face is well carved and soft at the same time.

When it's his time to order Jaehyun feels embarrassed to imagine it would go perfectly and he would find Donghyuck.

"Iced filter coffee with vanilla syrup." He murmurs, pouting.

"Is there anything else you wish?" The cashier asks. 

He is ready to say no but his stomach rumbles loudly. Jaehyun looks up to the man's face, hsi face burning. "Do you have those peanut cookies? Donghyuck recommended it and it was so good."

The man raises an eyebrow staring him down, the coffee cup hangs in his hand. Then he turns around calls to the backside.  _ "Hyuck-ie! Come here" _

Jaehyun is taken aback by the sudden loud call, staring. Soon Donghyuck’s brown head of hair appears out of the door. He walks towards them as he mutters under his breath. The blonde cashier whispers him to rush before Donghyuck looks and notices him.

_ "Ah Jaehyun-ssi!" _ He exclaims, grabbing the cup from the hands of the other man. He reads the notes on it before looking back at him. _ "The same order? Do you also want some cookies?" _ He smiles softly.

_ "Yes, but please let me pay this time." _

The boy giggles as he process the order.  _ "Of course you are paying. I can't keep giving away cookies or Taeyong-Hyung won't pay me." _

The cashier from before, now standing behind the espresso machine, leans in. "Cause that costly for my business. I don't even let Johnny have freebies."

"But you love me." Donghyuck says, smug and smiling. It makes Jaehyun smile seeing them banter. 

Taeyong sighs and goes back to making the coffee. Donghyuck turns his attention to him.

_ "Will you be having the coffee here, Jaehyun-ssi?"  _

_ "Yeah, I think I will." _ He takes out his card to pay.

"That's good." The boy finishes the order, returning the card. "Just have a seat. I'll bring it to you." Jaehyun nods, leaving for a table.

Soon Donghyuck appears with his tray, sitting across from him. He leans on his elbows, propping his face in his hands. 

_ "I will assume you missed me, Jaehyun-ssi." _ He says cutely. 

Jaehyun takes his coffee, drinking a couple of sips.  _ "To be honest with you, I missed speaking Korean with someone." _

_ "Why? Don't you have someone at home? _ " He asks innocently. Jaehyun sighs. 

_ "Yeah, not really. I moved to the States alone." _

_ "So you are like Taeyong-Hyung. He came here to study long ago." _ The boy says. 

_ "And you? Were you born here?" _

"Yeah. Born a little outside of L.A."

"Explains your perfect English. But you also speak Korean well."

"Ma was stern about me learning it." He admits it. "And don't discredit yourself. You speak English just fine."

"Do you think so?" 

He hums, picking a broken piece of the cookie and throwing it in his mouth.

_ “You seem young, aren’t you doing collage? You are working here everyday?” _

Donghyuck scrunches his face with distaste. But he explains. “Had to take a gap semester. Though I applied to a couple of places, waiting for replies for the spring semester.”

“Here? In the area or? Sorry I don’t know many schools here.”

“Fuck no.” He doesn't hesitate. “Actually, I applied to schools in Korea. I have been strictly warned about student debt. It turns out the schools are much cheaper there.”

Jaehyun nods along as he takes a sip of his coffee. “I see…” He mumbles.

_ "So Jaehyun-ssi-"  _ Donghyuck cuts in. His expression becomes curious as he changes the topic.

_ "Call me hyung. It's a little too formal with all that." _ He insists. 

_ "Okay, hyung. What do you want to talk about?" _

_ Johnny.  _ He wants to say but he is not sure how to bring it up without being embarrassed.  _ "Am I keeping you from work, Donghyuck? You don't have to-" _

"I can ask Taeyong hyung to replace me if that turns out to be a problem." He answers, pointing at the previous cashier Jaehyun met.

"You don't have to be so nice." He says, shy because all the attention. 

"Just let me ask." He gets up and goes to speak with the other man. They speak between themselves, looking in Jaehyun's direction. Then Donghyuck goes back to the counter and the blonde man starts walking towards him.

_ "Hi, I'm Lee Taeyong. I'm the owner of this place." _ His voice is kind and the hand he reaches out is very soft, Jaehyun notices as he shakes it. He speaks in a very clean Seoul-like Korean. 

_ "I'm Jung Jaehyun." _ He introduces back.

The blonde man takes Donghyuck's previous spot, across Jaehyun. Now without the counter hiding him, he notices how the small and delicate looking the man is. It adds up to his fairy like beauty. Taeyong looks at him, raising an eyebrow 

Jaehyun's eyes grow in size with the realization of how he must have been staring at the man. He doesn't think he had this kind of thoughts besides watching porn. He looks immediately away from the man.

_ "Donghyuck tells me that you work with our Johnny. So I assume you will visit us a lot? _ " He asks.

"Yeah, I started there last month.” He smiles. “When I discovered you guys, I was just very ecstatic. There was good coffee and also, good company. Plus these cookies are so delicious."

"Thanks. I take pride in our baked goods." Taeyong blushes a little with the compliment. They look at each other, silent, for a long while.

_ "Jaehyun-ssi, would you like to ask whatever is clearly eating you inside?" _ Taeyong dares him. He must be a good observer to see through Jaehyun’s excited puppy exterior.

"Uhm," He mumbles. "It's- it's about Johnny."

"I am all ears."

_ "You guys seem to know him well. If it is okay for you to tell me, was he born here?"  _

_ "He prefers to say he is American, if that's what you are asking. But it is not for me to reveal information about him. You should ask him yourself."  _ He doesn't look pleased with Jaehyun snooping around, he crosses his arms and stares him down. 

"I see." He looks down at the coffee on his lap. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."

"It is okay. But I would rather speak about something else." Taeyong says sternly. His pretty image clashes with the harsh attitude he carries. He obviously cares a lot about Johnny for him to protective over. 

"The coffee is really good. I think I am going to try it without the syrup next time." Jaehyun tries.

"I resource everything myself." Taeyong’s approach is more warm now. He tells Jaehyun about the coffee and the whole shop. He leaves to tend to some customers from time to time but the conversation flows easy. They speak about random daily things.

Jaehyun ends up spending his afternoon in the coffee shop, trying different baked goods and drinking another coffee that Taeyong personally makes for Jaehyun to try. It's nice and warm, it feels familiar and friendly.

He leaves the place with warm feelings and a promise to comeback on Monday morning. 

\---

He keeps his promise and goes earlier than usual to grab his order of coffee from Taeyong. The blonde man tucks in another paper bag, it clearly belongs to Johnny as it is being packed diligently. Jaehyun doesn't mind, he is actually more than okay if it means he can speak with the man for a moment.

When he enters the office, he directly strutts to his own desk to drop his belongings. He takes one last sip before placing his ice coffee down and fixes up his black shirt.

The paper bag in his other hand has already been wrinkled beyond saving because of Jaehyun's sweaty palms. He wipes them on his jeans before walking towards Johnny's section of the office.

"Good morning," He announces before placing the bag on the safest corner of the table. "Johnny-ssi"

The man looks up from his laptop screen, showing one of the most beautiful smiles Jaehyun has ever seen. His black locks fall over his face, covering most of his beautiful eyes. His face scrunches into a lovely smile that Jaehyun wants to keep records of. 

"Ah thank you, can't tell you how much you saved my day." He states as he is reaching for the contents of the bag. After he takes his initial sip from his coffee, he seems more content.

He looks up to Jaehyun's eyes, his eyes shine lighter in the morning, mesmerizing him.

"You changed your attire," He says, gazing the jeans on Jaehyun. "I must say, I liked that ill-fitting suit on you." He jokes.

Jaehyun smiles, pushing his hands into the pockets because he has no idea what to do with them. 

"But this ensemble suits you a lot," Johnny continues as his eyes drift onto Jaehyun's now exposed arms. "I didn't realize you were this buff." 

He is not sure how to reply to that, his eyes growing in size with the initial shock. He looks down to hide the redness creeping up his neck, "Thank you," He murmurs, "I should start working," If he continues to stand there, he is soon going to turn into a tomato.

"Ah, please don't let me hold you." He raises his coffee up to salute. "Thank you again, for the coffee." 

Jaehyun nods, "No problem."

It’s close to the deadlines and the office seem to buzzing with people. There are more people on the grounds than usual with people coming in the edit their pieces. Now Jaehyun is in demand, finally getting to do what he has been recruited for.

Sicheng has been the lucky first, finishing his piece earlier than usual. So now he gets to sit with Jaehyun and lay out his article first-hand rather than leaving it up to the editors. They are sizing the photos that have been chosen for the project together, trying different layouts and column systems to fit everything in four pages.

“Can we saturate it so the details look clearer?” Sicheng asks as he presses a finger to Jaehyun’s screen. Jaehyun really wants to slap his hand away but Sicheng is such a sweet person that he knows he is not doing it on purpose. He changes applications and plays with the properties of the photo.

“Better?”

“Yeah, I like it a lot.” Sicheng beams. “Thank you, Jaehyun, for doing this.”

“It’s my job.” He laughs. 

Sicheng smiles gently, as he takes notes on his small journal. “Can we test print it?”

“Of course,” He shortcuts to the printer. “Done. Is there anything I can do?”

Sicheng rolls back with his chair towards Yuta. “Will tell you after I discuss with the editor?” He bumps into Yuta’s chair playfully. Yuta sends him a menacing look but then cracks into a soft smile. They are adorable when they are playing around.

“Guess who's back?” Comes an exclaim. Jaehyun will recognize that voice anywhere by this point. Johnny appears before them soon enough, dropping his bag on Yuta’s desk.

“I’ve finished another successful interview, my friend.” He says, a smile is ever present on his lips. All Jaehyun can do is stare at him from this distance. As the weather changes he seems to be ditching his light colored cotton suits for more structured dark grey suits of variety. His white shirt today is very crisp but let loose around his neck. He doesn't wear a tie, Jaehyun never seen him with one. But it makes his look even more charming, giving him a youthful edge. 

“And I was here, suffering through your batshit writing. Why did I ever agree to edit for you?” Yuta rolls his eyes at Johnny.

“Cause you love me too much,  Nakamoto Yuta.” Johnny announces proudly. He pulls out his notebook, flipping through the pages until he finds what he is looking. He pushes it towards Yuta.

Yuta reads over it, Sicheng joining him over Yuta’s shoulder curiously. Silence takes over them. Johnny looks around as he gives them time to read. He meets eyes with Jaehyun, as he is obviously staring at them. Johnny smiles with adoration but Jaehyun looks away immediately before getting a good look.

But then Johnny is there before him, leaning against his desk and forcing Jaehyun’s attention on him. Jaehyun looks up at him. “Did I steal Sicheng from you?” Johnny asks.

“No-no. You didn’t.” He objects, using his hands animatedly. Johnny smiles, again.

“Good,” His voice is gentle amplifying his speaking skills. “How is work going on for you? I heard you were very busy.” Johnny seems genuine as he asks. Was he asking about Jaehyun? Was he curious about him?

“Ugh, yeah. I have been uploading previews as people are turning in their work.” He explains but stumbles over his words as his heart beats crazy. Johnny is here, this close. His crotch is sitting on Jaehyun’s eye level and he is struggling so much to not seem like horny teenager.

“Have you had lunch Jaehyun?” Johnny asks, his eyes shining curiously.

Because Jaehyun doesn't have blood in his brain currently he answers without understanding. “Yeah.”

Johnny stumbles over his thoughts, his smile fading for a second then coming back fully as he collects himself. “That’s good.” He nods understandingly. God, he is so handsome. “You shouldn’t skip meals, especially when you are busy like now.” 

“John-” Comes Yuta’s call, popping their little bottle.

“I should go back.” Johnny excuses, standing up. “See you later.” He winks. Then he leaves.

That’s when Jaehyun seems to understand what the conversation really was. Johnny wanted to have lunch with him. With him. Johnny. And the idiot he was, he couldn't see through the words. He sighs frustrated as he buries his face in his hands. Probably too embarrassed to look at Johnny ever again. He is such a loser.

\---

He must be the biggest idiot ever. Jaehyun rushes down the street to reach back to the office. He promised to meet with Bambam and Jackson for happy hour but he was foolish enough to forget his phone inside the office. Now it is too late to rush to the bar and he has no way to inform the guys. He runs along the side way to reach the building.

He punches the password of the outer door. He pushes it with his shoulder and quickly rushes to his desk. Then he stops in his tracks as he realizes the dim lighting. One of the desks in the far right is currently occupied by someone. The glow of the screen is apparent on the wall back. 

Jaehyun slows down and approaches the desk. The soft lo-fi music fills the room, enhancing the dark oddly lit atmosphere. Then he sees Johnny, hunched up over a bunch of paper tracing lines with a red marker in his hand.

His very well refined gray suit is now wrinkled and tossed around. The necktie is loosely hanging around his collar. A couple buttons open, exposing his broad chest. He sighs and messes his usual perfectly styled hair. Even under obvious stress the man exudes beauty. Jaehyun wants to sit down and watch him all night long.

But this is the real world and he can't just do that. He can't just scare the man like that. He needs to make him aware of his existence because he will have to walk by the desk to reach his anyway. So he braves himself before clearing his throat.

"Johnny-ssi." He states, Johnny looks up from his papers. He looks baffled to see Jaehyun in front of him. His eyes shine with recognition as he places down his pen. 

"Jaehyun," He blinks rapidly. "What are you doing here?"

He walks towards his desk. "I just-Uhm, I forgot my phone."

Johnny's eyes track him curiously. Relief washes over him when Jaehyun finds his phone and waves to show it.

"Are you doing overtime? Isn't it a little late?"

"Oh yeah. Just some things I have to finish up before morning." He smiles a little as he jokingly flips through a bunch of papers.

"I see." Jaehyun pushes his hands into his jeans pockets and stands there awkwardly.

"I'll have to go back to editing this." Johnny states but still keeps on looking. Jaehyun heart does this stupid thing when he looks at him with his messed up collar and deep worry between his brows. His stomach twist in knots.

"I can help." He suggests in a heartbeat even before realizing he is saying it. "I know my English isn't great but I have read over many papers in my academic time." He tries to convince Johnny to let him stay.

"Jaehyun, you don't have to help. I can manage." But Jaehyun is already pulling a chair, sitting across him.

"C'mon. It's not fair if you have to work alone on a Friday night." Jaehyun reaches for the pile waiting next to Johnny. The man rolls another red pen towards him.

"Weren't you going out with the guys? I heard Jackson speaking about it." 

"It's okay. You can make it up to me for it after we finish this." He says, switching between Korean and English as he does.

Silence falls over them as they read over what turns out to be an interview with a famous photographer. Interview questions are so well thought that Jaehyun is surprisingly impressed. He finds some small Grammar mistakes on the documentation and notes small shortening on some paragraphs.

At one point, he feels like he has done what he could do about the paper, so he looks up from it. Johnny is there, sitting across from him in all of his messy glory. He’s still focused on the work he has but there is some nervous biting on the end of his pen. He chews around it without noticing which makes him look even more human.

Maybe he is not this unreachable god Jaehyun has created in his mind. Right now in this dark room, with exhaustion wearing down on his shoulder, Jaehyun thinks it is the most mundane state a person can be and Jaehyun wants to swipe away his worries.

“Johnny-ssi,” He calls, Johnny looks up immediately, finding his eyes in seconds.

“Hmn?” He hums, his voice coming deep from his chest. Jaehyun feels even weaker than before.

“Would you mind looking at this sentence? I don’t think I solved it well. No wait- fixed it well.” He pushes the papers towards him, pointing at his handwriting. “Sorry it’s messy. I’m not used to writing by hand in latin script.”

Johnny giggles as he eyes the red ink. “You should see my hangul. I don’t think I get one word out of a paragraph right.” 

“Well you should show me so I can testify to its badness.” Jaehyun tries, for hopes of opening him up. 

“Yeah I wouldn't want to torture you,” Johnny smirks, pushing back his chair and standing up suddenly. He leans over the table, invading Jaehyun’s space. His face is mere centimeters away from his face, his breath brushing against Jaehyun’s burning cheeks. He can feel the flush running up from his neck up to his ears. Johnny is right there, so close that he can just lean in and kiss him.

“So here,” he continues but Jaehyun doubts he will understand a word he will say. He is too busy staring at all the imperfections he doesn't have. His small lips pout and relax as he speaks and his cute cupids bow gets noticeable every other second. One of his eyelids have a full crease and the other has this tiny one. There's a small red patch on his cheek, like an irritation around the area where his beard would grow. Maybe it was a shaving accident or maybe it's an itchy spot. He may never know but he wants to.

He pulls back when Jaehyun thinks whatever he was explaining finishes, catching him off-guard. He must have looked like a deer in headlights because Johnny stares at him for a solid second before breaking into a smile. 

"I guess, I was a little too confusing, wasn't I? I am sorry for being that asshole." He sits back down but still smiles looking at Jaehyun. He tries to humble himself by downgrading his skills when in reality he speaks clearly and eloquently whenever Jaehyun could listen to him instead of staring at him.

He looks down as he gets redder every second Johnny keeps his eyes on him. Luckily for him, it is filthy dark in the office. He really hopes Johnny doesn't notice how much his skin is burning. "It’s okay." He mumbles. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"No, thanks to you I am almost ready to wrap up." Johnny drops his pencil down on the papers. "I can manage the rest later."

"Okay~" He doesn't know how to reply to that. He picks on the sides of his nails as he waits for Johnny to continue. He hears shuffles of paper and drawers being opened. 

Then Johnny gets up making for his jacket. Jaehyun stands with him, caught off guard that they are actually done with work. 

"You don't have a car, right?" Johnny asks. Jaehyun shakes his head and pouts. "C'mon I'll drop you off." 

"You-you don't have to."

"I want to Jaehyun." He puts a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder, giving a light squeeze. "I kept you away from a night out and it's already quite late."

In reality being dropped off would be a dream. He travels around an hour during commute to his home and at this hour he is not sure if there are any busses running. Yuta had promised to be his ride for the night. Now that he has ditched them he doesn't have any way to travel back home yet the idea about being stuck in a small space, like a car, with Johnny makes his mind run on override. 

"Let's go, Jaehyun." Johnny says, putting on his jacket. He fixes his hair looking at the darkened screen of his computer before turning off his small lamp.

The only thing to guide Jaehyun is Johnny besides him. And the close approximately makes his heart go fast.

Johnny grabs him by the elbow and starts walking through the dark. He clearly has been in this situation before as he navigates around quite easily. And Jaehyun let's him drag him around.

Once they are out of the building the street lights illuminate them with a cold sheen. Johnny still looks so good in his eyes. Even if it's easy to see now, Johnny doesn't let him go, they walk to Johnny's car together. It doesn't take long as it is one of the few that is still left in the parking lot.

Johnny opens the door for him to the black Chevrolet, waits for him to settle before going to his side. Jaehyun tries to sit properly, placing his hands on his lap so he doesn't mess with anything he shouldn't but he still has eyes.

There's a coffee thermos placed in the cup holder and a family pack of gum next to it. Couple of receipts hang around thee car but it's not dirty. There's a small necklace-like ornament hanging from the front mirror, carrying a photo of Johnny with a much younger Donghyuck.

He can't stop himself. "Is that-" He starts the sentence before he gets the attention from Johnny. 

"Yeah, it's a photo of Donghyuck from a couple years ago." He smiles so beautifully when he speaks about the young boy. "I don't have any siblings, so when I met him, he was in high school and needed a big brother to guide him. It made sense. He helped me a lot too."

"You seem to care a lot about him."

"He's the only family I have here." Johnny confesses before starting the engine. 

"I thought you were American?"

Johnny laughs at Jaehyun's innocence. "I am. But I am from Chicago, my family lives there."

Jaehyun wants to comfort him, he sounds sad and lonely, his heart aches when his usual happy tone washes away. Without processing his actions he reaches for the hand laying on top of the gear shift. He covers the hand with his, pressing his palm almost flat onto it so Johnny can feel he is genuine with his actions. 

"We are more similar than I thought. Moved to a big city from another and missing our families." Jaehyun says. 

Johnny looks at him every now and then to be safe while driving. But then he turns his hand so his palm is facing up to interlace their fingers together. 

"I guess we are, Jung Jaehyun."

Jaehyun think he is already gone for him.

\---

Next Monday, he arrives at the office later than he usually does. It is always the Monday commute that feels like hell. For some reason it is always the fullest, with people traveling to the city center. 

When he enters everyone is already working so he tries his best to not distract anyone. He goes towards his seat and starts his computer even before settling. He takes off the sweater he has gotten accustomed to wearing, sitting down in his button down. 

He reaches into his backpack to place it properly and take out his journal. It is filled with due times for projects and random sketches of things to keep his mind de cluttered.

He plays with the rounded edge of the notebook as he thinks of the things he should do throughout the day. God, he would do anything for a good coffee right now to clear off the haziness. He wonders whether he should go for a cup of office coffee now as he scrolls through the pages. 

Once he finds where he left off, he grabs his pen to make a short list. He scribbles on the page not even caring how it looks, not with this shitty pen. It gets on his hands as he writes down but he doesn't have another option that he can easily grab. He really doesn't want to distract Yuta.

He hears a thud against his desk, startled he turns around to find a familiar carton of coffee on his desk. He glances at the hands holding onto it and follows it up, finding the very tall figure of Johnny.

"Jaehyun," He says his name so smoothly and warmly. "I am sorry this must be cold. I didn't know you would be coming in later." He genuinely looks sad about it.

Jaehyun reaches for the cup to show it is perfectly fine. Their fingers touch for a split second before Johnny let's go. "Don't worry about it. This is already too much."

He is not sure if it is as long as he imagines it to be, but they stare at each other for a while, silent and smiling.

"I should go, but Heechan-ie said he missed you. You should pay a visit to them."

"Will do." Jaehyun grabs onto that warm cup of coffee with both hands, as if he is holding Johnny, as he watches the tall man goes back to his cubicle. When he turns around, he finds Yuta staring at him confused. 

"What's wrong with you?" He whispers as if the idea of being attracted to Johnny is a sin. Jackson also raises his eyebrows at him from behind his desk .

His phone vibrates a second later, a message from Sicheng lighting up his lock screen.  _ I can see you drooling from here. And I can't actually see you. _

Even though he hasn't been intentionally trying to hide his crush, he never thought he was this obvious. He must be  _ really _ gone if he never noticed the people around him. God what is he supposed to do now? He feels flustered and embarrassed. He must look like a teenager in their eyes, blushing every second, crushing on a coworker even though he is new here. It doesn't help that he is one of the youngest people here, fresh out of college. They must pity him.

He grabs his phone and mumbles a half assed apology before launching himself out of the room. He dials Doyoung's number as he is walking through the staff room, going outside to be alone.

Doyoung picks up soon enough. "Jaehyun? What's going on? You never call at this hour?"

Jaehyun's brain automatically switches to Korean, blanketing himself with a false sense of security. "I am screwed." He whines, leaning against the wall to find his balance again. He will surely collapse if he doesn't.

He can hear the sudden change in Doyoung's voice. He seems worried. "Tell me. We'll see if we can solve it."

"No. No-" He feels like he is about to cry. "Doie, I like him."

There's an awkward silence before Doyoung speaks again. "Jae, I don't think I understand. Can you repeat that?"

"I like him so much." He confesses, his heart racing like crazy. He is not sure if he feels any lighter now that it is out in the world. "It feels just like her."

"Ohh-" Doyoung seems to understand what's the problem now. He is not exactly wrong. She was the best and worst thing that ever happened to Jaehyun. His first real love, all throughout college. He was out of his mind most of the time now that he looks back at it but he felt just like this when he first fell for her too.

"Should I tell him?" He whispers into the mic. 

"Well yes. At some point. Also why are whispering?" 

"Cause he understands Korean even if I have never heard him speak it." He continues to whisper as he checks around for people now that his mind is clearer.

"Ah, I see. Well, Jae. I don't know him but if you like him this much you should do something about it. And if he breaks your heart, I'll just fly over and break his ribs for you." Doyoung tries to console him, which puts a smile on his face. 

"Thank you, Doie. You are the greatest man ever."

"I'll kick your ass too if you don't update me." Jaehyun cackles at how serious his friend sounds.

"I will. Thank you."

"I'll hang up now, so you, go back to work Jaehyun." Doyoung guides him through his misery. “And then we will figure out your existential crisis.”

\---

He mostly deals with his own misery and doesn't voice it. He tries to keep himself from staring at the office but it is when he visits the Cafe, he realizes how screwed he is. They always make his order with Johnny's. Donghyuck is beaming whenever the topic turns around to Johnny and Jaehyun wants to listen to more of their stories.

One day, he goes there early in the morning. He somehow woke up at five in the morning. He went through every possible thing in his house to spend time on but after the public transport started running he found himself out of the door.

It is barely past the opening time. He is actually surprised that the door is actually open because no one is inside, not even Taeyong it seems, is around. He walks up to the counter before calling, "Taeyong Hyung, are you at the back?"

Nothing. No reply or even the tiniest bit of rustle coming. He tries again. "Hyung?" 

When he doesn't get a reply once again, he walks around the counter aiming for the staff only door. He pushes it gently, only peaking in with his head. "Taeyong Hyung, do you need any help?" But instead of the blond mop of hair he is expecting he finds the broad chest of Johnny in front of his face.

"Oh, hi Jaehyun!" He greets, his voice eerily cheerful for this early in the morning. He is wearing sweatpants with a sleeveless white shirt over it. It is unconventional when all Jaehyun had seen him was in amazing tailored suits yet he looks comfortable and lovely. Jaehyun wants to bury himself in his chest and hug him to eternity. 

But he manages to pull himself together and speak once again. "Where is Taeyong Hyung?"

"He is at the back, receiving the supply delivery." Johnny reaches for the back of his neck scratching it. And Jaehyun's eyes follow his arm muscles as they flex.

"Do you guys need help? Because the front is currently empty?" He asks, genuinely concerned about a customer coming in. He loves coffee but he has no idea how to manage an espresso machine.

Then he sees Taeyong moving in the kitchen barely balancing two large boxes that covers most of his body. Jaehyun goes for it, grabbing the box from him when his mind turns on the scolding mode on.  _ “Ah hyungie, you shouldn't do this. It’s not good for you to handle heavy boxes in the long run! You should ask for help or do it one at a time.” _

_ “Ah, Jaehyunie, thank you.” _ Taeyong beams when he sees him. Jaehyun places the other box after him and rolls up his sleeves.

_ “Show me the others and go tend your cafe, hyung.” _

Taeyong reaches to pet his hair, “What a cute helper.” He compliments him. 

Jaehyun scrunches his face as he is being babied.  _ “Johnny will show you. I’m sure you two will finish it faster than I can.” _ He says, and they both turn to Johnny to find him staring at them as if they are aliens, looking confused. Jaehyun realizes it is because of the language switch he and taeyong have when together given that they speak with Johnny only in English.

Johnny shrugs, “You guys speak so fast,” He seems upset that he didn't understand them. “But I heard my name so tell me what’s up.”

“I told him to help you with the stuff.” Taeyong explains as he grabs his apron from the hanger. “Another muscle man will shorten the time.” He ties it around his tiny waist, ruffling his hair before aiming for the staff door.

“I’m not a dumb muscle man, Yongie!” Johnny objects.

“Well you come in handy!” Taeyong presses further before leaving the room. Johnny sighs and shakes his head. Jaehyun giggles behind his hand at the sight of the defeat of the giant one by the small one.

“He called us idiots and you are  _ laughing _ !” Johnny whines, his lips turn into an adorable pout.

“I can’t help. You look absolutely hilarious.”

Johnny rolls his eyes, “Come on, let’s bring the supplies in.” He turns around, leading Jaehyun to the back door. There is a good chunk of boxes left for them to handle, but it doesn't feel long as he gets to be next to Johnny. They finish up around fifteen minutes later, placing most of the things in their places with the help of Johnny’s familiarity of the kitchen. He feels jealousy light in his chest.

He is not sure if he what he wants is to be closer to the guys here or if he wants to be the one experiencing and learning stuff with Johnny. He really doesn't hope it is the latter as it would make him a really bad friend to Taeyong. The idea of being with Johnny is so tempting to him that he is having thoughts that are so out of character for him. He looks down in shame.

Then he hears the ruffle of Johnny shaking off dust from his hands.  _ “It’s done.” _ He says, in Korean. His unsure voice with the incorrect tonality makes him seem like a child looking for confirmation.

Jaehyun turns around with shock, but Johnny gives him a soft smile.  _ “Yes. It’s done.” _ He answers back, trying to make his words as clear as he can. Then he switches back to English to confirm Johnny’s intention. “You want to try speaking Korean? With me?”

“Yeah, I mean-” He seems unsure, scratching the back of his head but he still looks into Jaehyun’s eyes as he continues. “I feel bad when I can’t join you guys. I never had to speak besides home stuff.”

"Ah, I see." Jaehyun hums. "And now that you have more people to talk with, you want to give it a go?"

Johnny nods. "I can understand more than I can speak, I think." He warns Jaehyun even though it doesn't mean much. If he had grown with his parents speaking even broken Korean with him, he is sure that he will overcome this. If Jaehyun learned English for his parents at the age of nine, Johnny can learn Korean now.

“It’s okay though. Even if you mess it up and mix in English, we will understand you. I will understand you Johnny.” He approaches him carefully, giving an assuring squeeze on the arm. Johnny nods, seeming relieved.

“Can we keep this between us? I don’t want the guys being over-excited about. They have been trying to pressure me for years.”

“Of course but-” He hesitates for a second before continuing. “Why me, Johnny?” He looks up into his eyes, so the tall man steps even closer.

"Who better?" He whispers, crowding into Jaehyun's space. "You speak more naturally than any of us."

"Yeah, I guess-" Johnny continues even before he can speak.

"And I want to be able to talk with you Jaehyun." His voice is deep and honeyed when it echoes in Jaehyun's ears. He is not sure he understood that right, the underlying meanings behind Johnny’s words- He can be just imagining things.

An uncontrollable blush takes over his body. He can already feel his ears burning but it also travels up his neck. Turning his too fair of a skin into a blotchy mess.

"Maybe now you will speak with me more?" He presses on, his hand finding Jaehyun's arm to ground him. His hold is gentle but firm, Jaehyun can feel the heat radiating off his body. Johnny doesn't shy away from looking right into Jaehyun's eyes. His gaze is captivating and daring.

"I wasn't trying to run away." He mumbles but stumbles over his words when Johnny's hand travels over his arm to his shoulders, caressing the skin on his neck gently. "I'm just a little-"

"Shy?" Johnny completes for him. Jaehyun nods. "Well, I want to know you better, Jaehyun. And if the things I heard from a little birdie are true, you do too." He smirks, a dimple appears on his cheeks. But Jaehyun can't stare for long as he covers his face in shame.

"Oh my god!" He exclaims, looking at Johnny in between his fingers. Johnny's lovely laugh fills in the backroom as he watches Jaehyun turn bright red.

"Don't worry. I found it very adorable." Johnny assures him, still laughing. "Just like now."

Jaehyun continues mumbling muffled curse words into his hands as Johnny brings him into a tight embrace.

\---

Their break room in the office comes handy when they want to hide. Johnny seems to open up whenever they are alone. He tries to speak more Korean whenever they are alone even if the structure and formality levels are all wrong, they soon realize he knows more than enough to be still understandable. 

Their getaways in the break room gets better when they borrow coffee beans from Taeyong, enjoying the process of making their own coffee in the break room and having small talk over the brewing time. Sometimes they take their laptops to work in the backyard so they can continue their chats.

_ "So you didn't study journalism or other liberal arts?"  _ Jaehyun asks as he pours hot water in the french press. Johnny is watching him, leaning against the counter.

_ "Nah, I took English language as a major but life dragged me here. Just like you, Yuta told me that you are actually a graphic designer but you are here doing web design." _

_ "Ehh, it's not that much different."  _ He shrugs.  _ "I am better at designing visuals but I can handle html stuff and a couple of page spreads." _

"You have to educate me more. Cause I literally have no idea what you mean." Johnny laughs as he takes out two mugs for them.

"It doesn't matter. It is mostly English design lingo." He watches as Johnny takes over the coffee making. He takes out the carton of oat milk, shaking it to make a froth. Then he pours it into their mugs according to their preferences. Only a small dash for Jaehyun instead of his usual sweetener and a half mug for himself.

"Lactose problems?" He asks when he cannot win over his curiosity. Johnny looks at him as he puts the milk back in the fridge.

"Not really." He shrugs as he comes back to pour the coffee. "I just don't consume animal products."

"Ah, I always assumed because of the lattes and baked things-" He starts mumbling but cuts himself off. "Sorry, I shouldn't have make assumptions."

_ "No, it is totally fine!" _ He extends the mug towards Jaehyun, breaking his awkward continuous mumbling.

_ "I am glad you told me though! Apparently I was about to make a dumb move."  _ He admits, now laughing at how awkward it would have been. He takes a sip from his coffee to stop himself from further embarrassing himself.

"Tell me, Jaehyun." He bumps his elbow to Jaehyun's.

"I have made this promise to take Yuta and Sicheng out for food months ago. I thought best option was _ Korean food and soju." _

"Ah! I see, you wanted to take them to  _ barbecue. That seems like a good idea. It would be exciting for them."  _ Jaehyun feels proud as he watches Johnny change between languages and supply words for himself. Even if the topic is turning back to bite Jaehyun.

"Yes but I also wanted you to join us." He admits, scrunching his face with distaste now that he can imagine the scene.

"I would love to join you guys. I can still drink and have fun.

"Yeah, no." Jaehyun objects. "I am not putting you through an uncomfortable outing."

"Jaehyun~" Johnny whispers, he looks touched but still tries to protest.

Jaehyun slides closer to lean onto Johnny's body. "Don't worry. I will find a place where we can all enjoy our time together."

_ "You don't have to." _

_ "Yes, but I want you to have a good time."  _ He looks up, his chin propped against Johnny's shoulder. Johnny smiles softly.

_ "Thank you, Jaehyun-ie" _

\---

He finds a proper Korean style restaurant that serves vegan options after a meticulous research process. He never had to think of food limitations before but now he doesn't want to think of a moment where he cannot have a good time with Johnny. He is ready to do anything if it means he can see him smile.

The day after he announces he has made up his mind on the restaurant, they go out. Johnny drives them to the address Jaehyun found on Instagram. Thankfully it actually turns out to be like the photos. The place is an elevated take on Korean street food, he just hopes the guys will like it.

They sit down and look at the menus but the guys seem quite confused with the names as they don't mean much to them even if they are written in Latin alphabet. So he takes a menu and lays it down.

"Okay so, does anyone have a problem with spicy food?" He asks diligently because if so this might hurt them badly. They shake their heads but Jaehyun still decides to warn the waiter for the spice level of the food when they are ordering.

"This restaurant apparently specializes in noodle dishes. These" he points to a picture on the menu. "are ice noodles. Naengmyeon. They are milder in taste but very refreshing."

Johnny seems to not listen to him and scrolls through the menu himself. Jaehyun only glances for a second towards him before continuing. "From here to here it's more cold noodles, most of them are very similar but we can go with something more regular. Like stir-fried noodles"

"Or-" Johnny butts in, a mischievous smile on his face. "We can have jjajangmyeon."

_ "Should we? Wouldn't it be quite a different experience for them?"  _ He asks back, to make sure Johnny is actually sure of what he is suggesting. 

The taller man nods back excitedly, looking like a child on his birthday.

"Don't gossip in front of us or I'll kill you both." Yuta hisses as Sicheng giggles at his boyfriend's expression.

"Okay so," Jaehyun turns back to them. "Our Johnny here, says we should have black bean noodles. They are like a special occasion order in food. They are fun but could be a challenge for your tastebuds." He warns them even though he also loves jjajangmyeon.

Yuta looks at Johnny's hopeful expression then back at the menu again before sighing. "Okay, I will try that if John wants us to." Sicheng also shrugs as if he doesn’t care.

"I'll eat anything." He admits.

Johnny beams with open excitement, clapping once or twice to show it. “You guys are gonna love this!” He exclaims. 

Jaehyun smiles as he closes the menus to get the attention of their waiter. Then he orders for them in Korean because it is much easier to do it that way in the deeps of K-Town, “ _ Two regular and two veggie, please.” _

Johnny seems to understand as he turns towards him after their waiter leaves, whispering. “You don’t have to.” Jaehyun pats his knee, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

“I want to.” Once again Johnny rewards him with one of his broad smiles, showing his dimples. They hear Sicheng giggle across the table and Jaehyun is very sure it is aimed at them but he doesn’t care at all.

Once their drinks come and Jaehyun starts pouring for them, Yuta turns his attention back to them from Sicheng. He checks his phone for notifications, he seems to caught surprised by something. Then he pushes his phones over the table for them to see. They both lean in and look at the screen showing an email with an attachment called invitation.

Jaehyun looks back, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Have you guys gotten this? It’s from Jackson.” He states. Johnny takes the phone in his hand to examine the mail further, Jaehyun peaks at it over Johnny’s shoulder. It’s bordeaux and gold, flashy yet readable, stating an invitation to an engagement party. Johnny takes out his own phone to check his mails as Jaehyun stays still, too shocked to move.

“I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.” He states.

“From what I know, he doesn’t.” Johnny presses, giving his phone to Jaehyun. It’s zoomed into the names.

Jackson Wang x Jinyoung Park

Jaehyun looks up, even more confused. That’s a name he well knows but he also knows how common that combination of names is. He searches for Johnny’s eyes, looking for answers. Johnny shrugs, nonchalantly. “I just knew he had a boyfriend, never met him tho.”

“I think he mentioned his boyfriend being an actor but that’s all I know too.” Sicheng adds.

“So are we going to it?” Jaehyun asks them. “I mean Jackson has been a very good friend to me.”

“ _ Of course, _ we are going, he sent invitations to us. We should be there for him.” Yuta nods.

“Will we go together?” Jaehyun asks his friends but Johnny is the one answering, holding onto his elbow. 

"We'll go together."

\---

He asks the fashion department for help about his clothing situation because honest to god he only has two suit jackets with him and he doesn't want to be embarrassed by going to the dinner party underdressed. 

Bambam is a really cool guy, he pulls out and puts together an outfit even if it is quite hard to fit it to Jaehyun’s figure in the wardrobe sizes. Jaehyun makes a promise to bring them back after the party but Bambam doesn’t seem to mind much. 

It’s a dark raven colored slim suit. Bambam also gave him a black silk blouse with tons of gold chain necklaces. He pushed Jaehyun’s hair out of his face and told him to use gel sternly. So that’s what he did. It is unconventional for Jaehyun but he feels like it looks like one of those guys entering a Gangnam club. He sends a photo to Doyoung just to mess with him before he sits down and waits for Sicheng.

He and Yuta promised to pick up Jaehyun from his apartment because they are good people, even if it is out of their way to do so. They pick him up half an hour before the time stated on the invitations.

Jaehyun realizes both Yuta and Sicheng embody much different styles when they are out of an office setting. Yuta’s hair has been done into soft waves and he is wearing this oversized but crisp shirt. He doesn't get a good look at his whole outfit until they get out of the car which is completed with harem style fabric pants.

Sicheng is the opposite of Yuta’s urban Brooklyn hippie style. He is wearing skinny dark jeans with a matching button up and a buckled leather jacket. He looks right out of a biker movie. It could be labeled breathtaking if Jaehyun’s mind wasn't occupied by someone else.

The house complex they arrive to is on the nicer side of the city outskirts. It’s all white and glass. Jaehyun watches with envy until Sicheng grabs him by the arm and drags him inside with them. The door is left ajar and the house is already filled with a good amount of people. The beam of red-lighting all around the house takes a while to adjust to but the soft thrumming of the basses make up for it.

Yuta gets distracted easily but Sicheng stands by Jaehyun’s side until they find the host standing besides the bar. Jackson looks sharper than usual, his suit flatters his figure. He beams at them as he greets every one of his guests. He tightly hugs them before fetching a man who is speaking with another guest. 

The man is much taller than Jackson, having the much leaner typical TV personality proportions. He leans into Jackson, probably asking about who they were.

_ “Honey, these are my work friends.”  _ Jackson speaks, catching Jaehyun off-guard. He must have stiffen quite a bit as Sicheng turns to him with worried eyes. He shakes his head, trying to shoo his worries. The man next to Jackson giggles and whispers something in his boyfriend’s ear.

“Guys-” Jackson tries to speak but Jaehyun intervenes.

_ “You two are speaking in Korean. Jackson knows Korean?”  _ He questions, directing his words towards the boyfriend. 

_ “Yes,”  _ The boyfriend affirms his suspicion, extending a hand in.  _ “Nice to meet you, I am Park Jinyoung.” _

Jaehyun bows his head as he shakes the hand out of habit. “ _ Jung Jaehyun. Jackson’s coworker and friend. But Jackson never told me he could speak our language.”  _ He sends his meanest glare towards said man but he is more embarrassed than angry. 

He must have slipped up so many times and mumbled too many personal feelings out in the office. Now he knows why Jackson has been sending him those questioning looks.

“You never asked!” Jackson exclaims, holding up his hands as if it could prove his innocence.

Sicheng watches them have their small dispute, seemingly not even worried as Jackson continues smiling. Jaehyun feels grounded by his friend’s hand holding onto his arm.

“You could have told me! I am so embarrassed now.”

_ “Did you play with this puppy? You shouldn’t have deceived him!”  _ Jinyoung scolds his boyfriend, playfully pulling on his ear.

Jaehyun pouts, mumbling. “I’m not a puppy.”

Jackson turns towards him, grabbing his hand, covering it with his own, trying to show his regret. “I’m sorry man. I was just trying to make you comfortable at work. If you knew, you would have only spoken with me. Am I wrong?”

“Yeah,” he admits in defeat. “I would. Sorry, I shouldn't be making a fuss on your special day.” He turns around, facing Jinyoung once again.  _ “Congratulations, on your engagement, Jinyoung-ssi! Hope we will see each other around.” _

“Thank you, Jaehyun. Don’t worry I will make sure this one won’t create anymore trouble for you.” They both laugh. Sicheng also gives them his blessings. He, of course, wants to know what has happened between them as they leave the couple behind. Jaehyun fills him up on it over a flute of champagne. It gives them something to gossip over for a good while.

The whole ordeal turns out to be different than Jaehyun imagined a dinner party would be. There is no long table where they sit around because the party is much more crowded than your regular dinner. Jaehyun goes around in rounds to find people he knows and chats with them. He doesn’t see Johnny anywhere even though he clearly remembers the promise of going together.

He is having a conversation with Bambam and Momo about his outfit for tonight. They seem quite interested in his looks, falling into easy banter about how they can dress Jaehyun up. Jaehyun tries to keep up with them yet gets lost somewhere in between the fashion lingo, he has no idea about. In between compliments and banters he feels a hand grabbing his wrist, he looks around to figure who. His curious search turns into a warmth spreading across his body as soon as he sees Johnny smiling down at him.

“C’mon,” he whispers, pulling him out of the crowd. Jaehyun lets the taller man drag him across the house, only stopping to open the balcony doors. Then they are out of the crowd, away from the sound of the party. Alone.

Johnny leans against the railings, never taking his eyes off Jaehyun, making him flustered. 

“You look good, Jaehyun. Handsome.” He compliments. Jaehyun feels his ever-resident blush reach his ears as he bites his lips. He mumbles out a thank you. 

Jaehyun is too far gone for the man. He knows. The smallest details attract his attention like he is charmed to look just at Johnny. His chest feels tight whenever he seems to be alone with him and he feels content just by seeing him smile. He really should do something about it.

“Johnny-”

“Jaehyun” They speak at the same time, flustered further Jaehyun stops. But Johnny puts a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to continue. “Go on-”

“Ah- Uhm,” He mumbles but he feels fingers against his neck, pressing in, as he holds Jaehyun and he knows he should just say it. “I have something to tell you.”

“I am all ears,” Johnny assures him, pulling him closer so he is also perched against the railings. Jaehyun looks up so he is sure that he has Johnny’s attention.

_ “I like you, Seo Youngho.”  _ Jaehyun whispers. An even bigger smile than before appears on Johnny’s lips, then a childlike giggle takes over. He grabs Jaeyun, placing both hands on either side of his face. His eyes look like crescent moons under the night sky, shining indefinitely.

“Jaehyun-ie~” He sing songs. “I thought you would never tell me.”

“Johnny-” he whines, holding onto Johnny’s jacket. “Don’t tease me.”

Johnny brings him into an embrace, his fingers combing through Jaehyun’s hair. Jaehyun can swear his heart is beating so loud that it can suppress the basses coming from inside. He wraps his arms around Johnny’s waist and mumbles against his chest. “You don’t have to say it back.”

_ “I like you too, Jung Jaehyun. So much that I can’t express it.”  _ Johnny whispers, softly and gently against his neck. “I’d like to be yours if you would have me.”

Jaehyun is as good as speechless and only manages to mumble Johnny’s name a couple of times. But then he looks up, so now they can see each other properly. 

Johnny’s hand doesn't leave his skin, he gently continues to scratch the hairs on his nape. 

“Is that a yes, Jaehyun?” He asks, actually waiting for an answer even if he is presenting it as a joke. Jaehyun nods softly. Johnny searches his eyes for a firm affirmation before leaning in.

He positions Jaehyun’s head gently to the left. Jaehyun feels the lips against his before he can process what’s happening. Johnny is very gentle with him but kisses pressingly as if he is in a rush. He presses a bunch of pecks to break Jaehyun’s shell.

When he does, Jaehyun takes the control. He pulls Johnny down with his jacket so they are on a more even ground and their necks won’t strain from awkward angles. He sneaks a leg between Johnny’s and presses their bodies even closer.

He hears Johnny whine when he slips his tongue out, forcing Johnny to open up. He kisses messy and hungrily but it doesn't matter because he has been waiting for this for three months. He savors every second he gets to kiss Johnny, holding him close and the man doesn't seem to mind it.

They end up in a tangled mess, Jaehyun resting his head against Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny holds him close, his hands never leaving Jaehyun.

“So-” He whispers. “Now what?”

“Well, I guess we will give this a go.” Johnny suggests, combing through his hair gently.

“This?”

“Us.” Jaehyun smiles at the idea of them. He has so many things he wants to experience with Johnny. So many coffees he wants to taste.

“What are you thinking about, Jae?”

“Us.”

\---

Dawn in Los Angeles is breathtaking, Jaehyun learns. The cold night is leaving its place to the chilly morning. The orange bouncing over the hills casts a magical aura over the ever living city.

He watches as the sun hits Johnny’s skin. His broad back is always fascinating to witness. Light grazes his skin casting soft shadows of the duvet cover. It is rare to catch a Johnny in deep sleep. He is usually the one waking Jaehyun from his dreams. So Jaehyun devours every single second of it, hugging his pillow tightly as he settles in to count the barely visible sunspots across Johnny’s face.

It takes about ten minutes for the sun to rise enough to lighten their bedroom. Johnny grumbles and turns his back to Jaehyun as the light is cast over his eyes. He takes the cover with him, leaving Jaehyun exposed. But Jaehyun can’t even bring himself to be mad about it when the man besides him is so breathtaking. He lays back besides him, snuggling close. As he buries his face in the broad muscles on Johnny’s back, his boyfriend startles awake.

“Jae?” He rasps, his voice grittier in the mornings.

“Morning, baby,” Jaehyun presses soft pecks across his naked back. Johnny turns around and traps him within his arms, hugging him tightly. Jaehyun giggles as he tries to escape the hold.

“Mm, stay still.” Johnny says, finding a new comfortable position he can sleep in. He rests his head in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck. “Why are you awake?”

Jaehyun shakes his shoulders. He is not sure either, he had just woken up naturally. Or maybe it was the vibrating of their phones. Either way he is awake now at the crack of dawn. It's not even six in the morning.

Johnny caresses his skin as the man tries to fall back into dreamland but Jaehyun doesn't think he will be able to do so. “Just let me go so I can make us coffee.” He whispers gently. But Johnny only seems to press him closer to his chest.

“I like you here.” Jaehyun huffs at the bratty answer. The silence becomes prominent but the steady breathing of sleep doesn't follow. After a couple minutes of trying Johnny whines and tosses around. “Ah, now I am awake too.”

“Sorry.”

Johnny caresses his hair softly, then man-handles him so they are facing each other. He leans in, obviously going in for a kiss.

“Morning breath-” Jaehyun whines but Johnny doesn't let him finish.

“So what?” He presses a peck to the corner of his lips, then proceeds to kiss him. Jaehyun lets him. Because he is already enchanted by the man. Every second with him, he gets jittery like a teenage boy having his first crush. He gets shy, he still blushes like crazy, he gets his breath taken away.

Even after almost a full year of knowing each other Johnny still makes his heart go wild. He loves spending time with him even if it isn't anything productive like spending Saturdays on the couch. Or it is a completely new experience of being dragged to have a hike on a Wednesday morning. They compromise and find a middle ground and he loves that.

He grabs Johnny’s cheek to slow him down. They still have too many plans to accomplish today.

“I have news.” He cuts their kissing off, Johnny gives up on pursuing him into a make-out session and rolls over. “Hyuck-ie texted during the night. He was boarding his plane from Incheon.”

Johnny’s eyes seem to sparkle at the mention of Donghyuck. He reaches over the bed to find his own phone and check his messages. “He will land around noon?”

“Yeah, I think so. We still have a promise to meet Taeyong for breakfast. It’s his first day off in months.”

“Then we will go welcome Hyuck together?” He looks towards him, seeking confirmation from him as he continues checking his notifications. Jaehyun leans in and smooches him on the cheek.

“Of course. Can you believe that it has been five months since he left for Seoul?”

“I missed him so much, Jaehyun.” Johnny pouts, demanding more attention from his boyfriend. Jaehyun gives in and snuggles back into his arms.

“Me too, baby.” Johnny starts playing with Jaehyun’s hair as he gets busy on his phone. Jaehyun traces meaningless patterns on Johnny’s stomach to pass his time. Until Johnny suddenly stops and looks down to meet his eyes.

“I also have something to say.” He looks serious.

_ “Don’t scare me, Seo Youngho.”  _ He scolds, slapping him on the chest.

“Do you have any plans for  _ Chuseok _ this year? Will you be flying back  _ home _ ?”

Jaehyun looks away with the guilt he has about the upcoming holiday. “I don’t think I have the finances for that.  _ Mom is gonna be so mad.”  _ He would love to go see his family but the plane tickets are so expensive that he cannot afford them by himself. Yet.

Johnny slides his hand down his neck to his back and caresses gently. “I know this might be a lot to ask but-”

“What?”

“If you don’t have any plans, will you come home with me? To Chicago?” He looks at him with big eyes full of expectations. Jaehyun just stares at him, not knowing what to say. Johnny continues on explaining,  _ “Mom really wants to meet you, Jaehyun-ie” _

_ “Me?” _

Johnny giggles.  _ “Yes,  _ she wanted to meet the storm behind my fluent  _ Korean skills.” _

“Won’t they mind us? Together? Do they know?” Jaehyun spills out without a breath. Johnny smiles at his flustered boyfriend.

“Yes, Jaehyun-ie. My parents want to meet my boyfriend and my mom is so happy that I speak Korean now that she might feed you a feast.”

He feels the burn in his eyes before he realizes that he is crying. Tears stream down his cheeks. Johnny wipes his cheeks as he presses pecks around his face.

“Don’t cry.”

_ “I love you, Seo Youngho.”  _ He whimpers as he lets Johnny hold him tighter. He can't seem to stop crying as emotions take over him. The idea of being accepted by Johnny’s family, becoming his special someone is overwhelming. As he can’t even imagine telling his family about a boyfriend, the fact that Johnny’s mother wants to meet him and possibly accept him into their circle has him excited and horrified at the same time. But excitement overrules his fears of rejection as Johnny embraces him.

“I love you too, baby.” Johnny Seo whispers to Jaehyun at six in the morning, inside their bedroom and Jaehyun believes him with his whole heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,
> 
> This is my first time writing for NCT fandom. Hope I made it justice. The idea of Johnny in suits wouldn't get out of my head so I made it into a fic. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! I would be so happy if you leave kudos, comments or bookmarks. Thank you for reading Here, hold my heart.
> 
> Thank you Avi for helping me out through out this fic, cheering and beta-ing! <3
> 
> If you wish to speak to me further here is my [twitter](https://twitter.com/outlawofideal) and [curios cat](https://curiouscat.me/outlawofideal)


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